THE BELONGING LAW

[ENGLISH]

Family Constellation Laws, called by Bert Hellinger of Orders of Love, it plays a fundamental role in the balance and maintenance of the family system, cooperative system, friendships and all kind of relationships and systems. These Orders are composed of three Laws: Hierarchy/Position; Belonging and Balance. Today I will talk about the Belonging law.

Belonging is first and foremost a natural feeling, a necessity of any human being. The first system we all belong is our family. 

In the Family System members are unique and everyone has the right to belong. That is to say that no one can be excluded regardless of their characteristics, difficulties or personal virtues. Each person is important to the System.

When an exclusion occurs in the family system, an imbalance occurs. This situation happens to be lived by a descendant, without necessarily having knowledge or affinity with the excluded ancestor.

In other words, Every person who is born or is linked to a family system needs to be recognized as an integral and respected member in its place and role within that system.

Often, descendants present themselves in a way to live as their ancestors or excluded sibling, breaking up with the family and living separate from it. A great example of this are children who have left home and never met or even talked to their parents or other family members.

Many people may be living as their great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, uncles, siblings or even as former spouses or significant affective relationships of their parents. For example, an uncle who was rejected for being an alcoholic or for having a physical pathology or mental disorder; an aunt, or another relative who has married someone whose parents did not approve and who were therefore banished from the family.

Rejected or not included children, such as those due to induced or spontaneous abortions, can also have systemic consequences. Aborted children need to be included in the total number of children, even if they were not born.

Another situation of imbalance by exclusion can manifest itself through serious diseases such as cancer or other degenerative diseases. In these cases we identify that the entangled person ends up following the destiny of the excluded person.

In the company, when someone has not been duly recognized as belonging to the organizational system or has suffered some injustice by the contracting company, it can suffer harmful consequences, such as great difficulty in hiring a new professional, disharmony in the organizational climate, customer evasion and even financial losses. This can also happen in a society where one partner has severely harmed the other. In addition, in the case of the company, as well as in the society, some family member of the people involved may present symptoms of this imbalance, suffering the consequences in the place of the person who harmed, or living as the person affected or even following their destination.

In all cases where there is exclusion in the system someone may represent that excluded person in some way, manifesting some kind of symptom or behavior. And this happens for the purpose of repairing an injustice or lack and thus, restoring the systemic balance.

Examples that may involve the Law of Belinging:

1. Has anyone in your family been excluded or not included, regardless of the reason?

2. Do you identify any behavioral symptoms in yourself or someone in your family such as: attention deficit, depression, panic disorder, separation anxiety or any degenerative physical illness?

3. Do you sense in yourself or someone in your family a feeling that someone is missing?

4. Do you constantly start something and give up, have lots of questions about what to do and difficulty choosing a path to follow?

5. Do you often find yourself feeling without a place that is yours or a feeling that you can not achieve anything in life?

6. Have you, your parents or grandparents had aborted children?

7. Have you or any of your ancestors harmed or been harmed, excluded or failed to acknowledge justly anyone in your work environment or in a society?

If you can identify one or more of those examples The Family Constellation Therapy might help you and your family. For more information about our Family Constellation Workshop, please email lobatotherapy@gmail.com or call 0421322379